Makeshift magic

Carl Soytan sighed, another week had rolled by with not so much as a job offer. It had been, what? Five weeks since his last show had ended with him on his ass and a black list that covered every dime theater and cheap night club. No owner would even give him an audition. There was a mountain of bills that called out for his attention. That emergency fund got smaller and smaller. Something would have to break soon.

He’d have to do something soon. Those bills wouldn't disappear, like his last assistant. The harlot had just up and run off with all his props. The police refused to look for them, and the Union of Professional magicians had all but disbarred him. You saw one Casino owner’s daughter in half and suddenly the world turns against you. There was a half full bottle of forty year old scotch to finish, a gift from the very same casino owner. Hell of a kick in the pants.

The girl had asked ever so nicely, with those big beautiful brown eyes of hers. Just one trick she said. It wouldn’t hurt anyone. Lies damned lies. He was about three shot glasses into the bottle when a knocking came on his door. Probably some damned collection agent making his rounds.

But the knocking didn’t stop, nor did it get any more insistent. Which was odd in the extreme, it had been five whole minutes, most collection agents woulda gotten out the battering ram by now.

“Keep your pants on, I’m coming I’m coming.” He muttered as he walked through the detritus of five weeks of down trodden living.

“Mister Soytan?” A soft voice called out to him. A woman's voice called out to him.

“Yeah thats me.” He threw open the five locks that kept his front door unassailable, except for the rotten door frame.

The door creaked on its hinges as Carl opened the door slowly, kicking a take out carton off to the side. Normally he would use the peephole, but that had been sprayed over by the punk kid in 4C. But in this case, his eyes were happy that he had opened the doors.

She was an innocent looking girl, five foot even, with long lilly white hair. She was dressed in a tux and tails, top hat included. She had a cute nose and brilliant pink eyes. Though the pink eyes were not what was truly strange, she seemed to have rabbit ears peeking out from her hat. She held a scroll in her hand.

“Mister Soytan” She looked up from her parchment.

“Yeah, thats me. You from the Union?” Carl stood in the doorframe still holding his glass.

“Yep!” She nodded too cheerfully for his liking. One of her ears flopped.

“Well alright, I guess you can come in.”

Carl stepped off to the side to let the girl into his apartment. Her pink eyes scanning the room with a soft fey glow to them. She wasn’t like most magicians he’d known. He could barely feel the magical energy. Most magicians when they called on their magic, had so much spillover that the whole stage glowed to the right eyes. Her magic was subtle, delicate, like a hummingbird in flight.

“Looking for bugs? I ain’t worth spying on.”  Carl laughed. “A drunk washed up stage magician.”

“Sorry force of habit.” She smiled as her eyes returned to normal.

“So what's the union want with me any how?” After all they had left him out to dry. “Not like they were eager to help me before.”

“Some of the more senior union members were displeased with that decision, especially after one of your scholarly works was uncovered.”

It had been some time since he was experimenting with his magic. His one area of expertise had been non-standard materials in the props used in certain illusions.

“I’ve been sent to, test your theories.” She smiled nervously. “Particularly in the use of cardboard for illusion boxes.”

She was practically jumping into the cardboard box for him. His mind started slowly working and chugging through the cloud of alcohol and boredom like a steam engine leaving the station. The first problem was finding the bloody box itself. There might be a box her size, he sprinted from the room muttering something about being right back.

Down three flights of stairs he ran, dodging misses Tzu from 4D on her way back from her daily Mah Jong game. 1A had gotten a new fridge, and there was the carton, waiting to be broken down outside their door. No one was looking at it too closely, so he absconded with the massive box. He dragged it up the steps back to his hovel. Misses Tzu had advanced five whole steps. The woman was still standing in his living room as he wrestled the unwieldy crate through the door frame.

“This is what you intend to use?” The rabbit asked as she circled the large carton.

Carl was already hard at work with his trusty folding knife, cutting a crude door into the front of the box. It took him ten seconds to prep the box right in front of her, no gimmicks after all there was no time to set them up. She nodded her approval.

“And what will replace swords? Paper towel tubes?” She had a cute way of extending the T sound of the word tube.

“Nah, I got a basket of wooden dowels. Those should work just as well for this.” Carl gestured to a plastic bucket filled with dowels.

“ah , silly me, what was I thinking.” She giggled and started inspecting them. “Solid, no gimmicks.”
He just finished making guide holes with his knife in the box, when she hopped inside with a cheerful smile.

“Satisfied?” He asked with a grin, reaching for a roll of duct tape. “Ready to begin?”

“You may proceed sir.” she pushed the makeshift door closed.

He taped the door shut and grabbed the first pair of dowels. Carl lined up the first wooden rod and gave it a push into the precut guide hole. He felt a bit of resistance as the dowel pushed into his assistants leg and she let out a pleasant squeak. Then the second dowel, as smoothly as the first, eliciting a similar response. Every few minutes the process was repeated, working its way up the trapped woman's body. With each dowel the squeaks and moans grew louder. Carl knew exactly how that felt in there.

“Now, you cannot move, is that correct?” Carl asked to the impaled box.

“That is accurate, yes” The girl inside was oddly calm regarding her situation.

“Well brace your self. Things may get strange.” The out of work magician grabbed his trusty x-acto knife and cut through two corners.

The box stood for a few moments, before each half of the box went on its separate way to the floor. Despite previously containing a lovely young woman, the boxes interior was shockingly empty. Well shocking to the woman in question, Carl fully expected this outcome. After all, he created the bloody trick. With a sigh he gathered up the blanket that he’d been using with the couch to sleep, the bed was covered with props gathering dust. Giving an imperceptible grunt of effort, he threw the heavy blanket over the empty couch, settling down slowly. Eventually it settled into a slender feminine form, that did not waste any time squirming and kicking off the heavy covers.

“Ach blech” she lept to her feet. “Hmmm? Oh I seem to be back in the land of reality.”

“Yep,” Carl laughed softly. “Vanishing was always something of a speciality of mine.”

“Really? Good!” The woman grabbed her cell phone “Mister Soytan, The union has an, interesting assignment for you.”

Soytan just sighed, and looked her square in the eye.

“How much does it pay?” He asked plainly.